mas·sive ag·gres·sive

I'm going to tell you exactly how I go about my fears and how I conquer them. In one sentence:

Close your eyes and take the leap, because the only way fear works is when you let it hold you back.

This is one of my mantras when I'm facing something that absolutely terrifies me. I feel like fear is something that is overused and dulling to our senses. At that same token, when we finally embrace our fear and conquer it (not decide to conquer it, but actually CONQUER it), it makes that victory that much sweeter.

YOU decide if fear gets the best of you. You can make any excuse in the world trying to refute this, but it is true. Period. You make the decision to freeze at the last moment. You are the one that feels bad and says, "I should have done that." You are the one that doesn't fully commit to the project. You are the one who should be willing to risk it all, and have that feeling of gambling on the line.

Remember this acronym if you want to tackle your next fear: EMBRACE.

E for Examine: Examine your fear and see if it's legitimate (A lion is about to attack me vs. "She'll say no if I ask her out . . .").

M for Make Note: Make note of what actually scares you about this fear. ("I'll be embarrassed because she rejected me.")

B for Build a Plan of Attack: Build some method to move through this fear and past it. It can't harm you if you know what you are going to do. ("First, I'll walk over to her. Second, I'll introduce myself . . .")

R for Reassure Yourself: Reassure yourself that if it doesn't go exactly as planned, it's not the end of the world. ("So what if she says no? There are still plenty of women that will date me.")

A for Act: Act out your plan. THIS IS THE MOST CRUCIAL STEP. If there is no action, then you let the fear get the best of you. (*walks over* Hi, I'm Jarrett. You are? . . .)

C for Confidence: You already took the first action. The ball is rolling. Have confidence in yourself to continue proceeding past your fear. (*thinking* This isn't so bad . . . and she likes a lot of the same music I do!)

E for EXCITEMENT: You conquered your fear! There's nothing wrong with showing a big toothy grin or a couple high fives with your friends. This is what fear is all about. Conquering it. This should be a HUGE adrenaline rush at this point. ("I've got a date for tomorrow night guys!")

 Don't make excuses if things didn't turn out. Learn from it and change up your plan next time. Account for this mishap and implement changes so things don't turn out the same way next time. A scientist doesn't do the same thing twice expecting different results. You need to change the way things are set up. You need to be making it so the cards are stacked in your favor. You don't go to the bar after working a hard day out in the yard, still smelling of sweat, expecting to pick up women, do you? NO! You take a shower, shave, throw on some cologne, and brush your teeth. You stack the cards in your favor so a woman says, "Hey, how's it going?" instead of "Hey, you reek!"

Try it next time. Show a little confidence. It's okay, because 90% of the other people that are in the same position as you aren't making that first move.